I once had a Soldier named Chip.

Chip was a bit of a douche.  He constantly rubbed people the wrong way.  He would say frustratingly unprofessional things.  He thought he was awesome.  He wasn’t.

I was senior to him, and several levels up.  So, I did what I thought best.  I talked to his first-line supervisor and told him to deal with it.  Didn’t help.  Then I talked to his second-line supervisor.  Didn’t help.

I started getting phone calls from across town about Chip’s attitude and how he was interacting with people.  Enough was enough.  I fired him.

When I fired him, I told him exactly why.  I wasn’t angry.  I didn’t yell.  I explained to him that he had shown a consistent lack of integrity and honor since the day I met him.  I cited specific examples.  I explained to him that he lied at every possible opportunity, even when he knew I could easily find the truth.  I told him he was not a good person.  

I told him the only reason I was saying these things was so that he’d learn.  I believed he had the potential to be a good person, but he was on a path of wrong.  He needed to orient himself.

Chip’s Ingredients:
Since day one, Chip displayed, on countless occasions, a complete lack of morals, ethics, and values.  

He had an affair with a woman who was married to another Soldier.  He tried to date his subordinate while he was married and deployed.  He, as a teacher, was trying to sleep with his Students, and eventually married one.  When confronted and investigated for these things, he lied or plead the fifth every step of the way.

When I fired him, he said, verbatim, and I’ll never forget it, “My biggest regret was telling [name redacted] what really happened.”  This was in regards to his extramarital affair.  His biggest regret was the one time he told the truth…

I could go on for hours with the list of things Chip did wrong, but this isn’t about Chip.  It’s about the lesson.

What I Didn’t Do:
I didn’t talk to Chip sooner.  I waited until the situation had grown out of control before I personally said anything.  I thought I was empowering my subordinates to resolve the problem, but I failed to realize that it was out of their hands and in mine from the beginning.

When I fired Chip and gave him a piece of my mind, he was angry.  I knew he would be.  I just hoped that some of what I said would sink in, and that he could learn.  This happened on a Thursday.  He’d be out of the Army by the end of the day on Friday.

The next morning, a reserved and humble clone of Chip came to my office and asked to talk.  I must admit, I was a little worried he was there to murder me.  After all, when I fired him, I took away his $72,000 bonus he was about to get.  Thankfully, he didn’t kill me.  

We must’ve talked for two straight hours.  He told me that he’d never had someone be so blunt with him before, and how “that was the most brutal experience of [his] life”.  He admitted at first he was angry, and that anger kept him up most of the night thinking.  As he was thinking, he was realizing the truth behind my words.  He began to understand that I wasn’t saying them to mean, but rather for him to understand.  He decided he wanted to be better.  

In the end, oddly and awkwardly enough, he thanked me for telling him the truth.  Surprisingly, he did not thank me for firing him (joke).

Chip’s epiphany was incredible.  I was impressed.  He displayed courage when he admitted his character defects to me and explained his desire to improve, despite being fired.  Unfortunately, it was too late.  This would be his last day in the Army.

The Two-fer:
There are two main lessons to derive from this story.

Lesson 1:
As a leader, there are times to empower your subordinates and there are times for you to step in.  Sometimes, the line for your involvement isn’t so clear.  When this is the case, trust your gut and deal with it yourself.

Afterwards, talk with your subordinate supervisors on the side.  Explain to them that your involvement wasn’t in an effort to undermine their authority, but rather to emphasize your stance on the subject.  You are an involved leader.  You don’t live behind a desk.  This is why you didn’t leave it to them; not because of a lack of trust.

Lesson 2:
Always speak the truth you know in your heart.  You are never doing someone a favor by sparing them from the facts.  Not everyone can think intrinsically, so most don’t realize how their actions are perceived.  It is your responsibility as a leader to tell them.

This goes for good and bad.  Compliment each person frequently.  No matter who it is, you can find something nice to say.  This will bring them to the table to be more receptive when you give them advice for improvement.

The Point:
If I had learned these lessons sooner, maybe I could’ve saved Chip.  But I didn’t.  So, I couldn’t.

Don’t hesitate to get involved when it comes to acts of misconduct or indiscipline, no matter what level you may be leading at.  If it’s something you’re not sure you should be involved in, you’ll only be doing everyone a disservice if you wait to find out.